everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
