omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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