Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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