now i know why i became what i already was.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
