I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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