Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
