Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
