the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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