I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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