proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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