i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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