ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
