JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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