right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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