If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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