Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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