We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
