Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
