I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.