pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman