i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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