You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.