white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
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I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.