I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so that wasnt chicken after all
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.