I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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