i think my tv is drunk
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Ladies don't puke and tell
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
