youre lurking in front of me
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Randomize
