from now on my penis is your penis
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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