come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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