So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
