You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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