a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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