a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
