so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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