how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
