I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
