So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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