She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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