Can Purell be used as lube?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Send help, water and tortillas.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
