those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
