Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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