we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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