I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
