I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I skipped work to stalk him.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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