I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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