why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
