the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
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Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.