3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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