So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
