But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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