We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
