hell yes lets make some ravioli
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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