How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
