I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
