They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
