I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
