im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i believe in u and ur pee
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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