Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
