Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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