Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize