Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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