there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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