my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
