Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
