I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
