Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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